To my mother

I've spent a lot of time thinking about my own mother just recently.  The mother of someone I'm close to has just discovered she's seriously ill so is attempting to spend as much time with her grandchildren as possible.  My mum never had that opportunity, her only grandchild was born six years after her death.  I'm really missing her at the moment, and feel guilty that my grief may be detracting from my friend's concerns about his mother.

Munchkin and I were looking at some old photos today, one of my mum when she was a child and two of my mum and me when I was about the age Munchkin is now.  She quickly realised who the little girls were, and that the woman who looked like me was actually Granny.  I've concluded that Munchkin looks like me, but with Granny's hair and Daddy's eyes.  Munchkin understood the concept that I was once a little girl like her, a lot more readily than when I tried to explain why Granny wasn't at Pops' house when she was in lots of photos with him.  She spent five minutes upstairs looking for Granny that day.  I ended up telling her Granny was in Heaven, and hoped it didn't come back to haunt me when we went on holiday to Devon!

Image courtesy of Marin / Freedigitalphotos.net

My mother taught me a lot about parenting, sometimes without realising it.  Here is a brief selection:

1. The only person who could convincingly tell me everything would be all right, no matter how dire it seemed, was my mum.  I think this should be in the Mother's Job Description.  I'm sure I once read a Caitlin Moran column where she said this was the biggest lie a mother ever tells.  Sorry Ms Moran, I disagree.  It's all about perception.  If you believe everything will be all right -I'm starting to sound like Bob Marley now- you'll find a view of the world that enables you to feel this is the case.
2. Never forget you were once a child.  Children need to be played with, and they require empathy.
3. Potty train as early as possible... Nappies are horrible!
4. "I want doesn't get."  Oh Munchkin, how many times have I said that to you?
5. Be careful what you say to your children and never assume they don't understand.  I can still remember things that my mum said when her first marriage was breaking down.  I would only have been three or four at the time.

You may have gathered that I've taken point 3 to heart.  Potty training is going really well.  Munchkin spent last week on holiday with Sweetpea, who has also just started potty training, and they've been running a toilet relay all week.  I've concluded that we get a 5 minute warning for wees and a 30 second warning for poos.  We took Munchkin swimming without a nappy today.  I assumed it would be fine since her swim nappies have always been empty after lessons.  Thankfully she knows when she needs the toilet, or it could have ended in pool closure.  She pooed in her swimsuit just as we got to the loo.  It will be back to nappies for Friday's lesson.

If I can find the time, I'll blog about our holiday in Devon.  We're off to a birthday party at David Lloyd in Worthing next week, so that might also be worth a mention.